更糟

有时候，说了话比没说更糟

原本以为说了话会轻松一些

可是无法沟通

我也累于解释了

 

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Revive my heart, my Lord

Dear shepherd, call my name, call my name again…

 

Papa,
what Your flower did to me has caused me great distress.
I was deeply affected as i struggled to do Your will.

But, Papa, those distress has lessened a lot.
Most of the time, i don’t even feel it.
It isn’t because my wound has healed,
but because my heart has hardened and become numb.

Such numbness terrifies me, Papa.
It frees me from the pain that Your flower has inflicted on me.
But, it has drawn me away from You.
The moment the pain disappeared,
the connection between You and i disappeared too.
I no longer yearns to do Your will.
I am frustrated.
My heart is full of hatred and frustration.
This terrifies me, Papa.
I can’t feel You.

I would rather be in pain than to be distant from You.
When the pain was so intense, I can feel Your presence,
and that makes me feel secure.
No pain is unbearable as long as You are close to me
because the pain was a result of the heart that loves and yearned to do Your will.

Dear Lord, my God,
You, the one who loves without getting tired,
You, the one with unfathomable love and mercy,
make haste and come to me.
Call my name and touch my hardened heart.
Only Your earnest and tender voice can revive this frozen heart of mine,
so that it can beat for you once more.

What a weak and lousy heart huh?
Easily hardened and frozen…
What have i to offer that does not fade or wither?
Even my heart is not fit to be a good offering to You.

Indeed, Your love is divine.
You love the sinners as much as the saints.
You have come for the sinners and even died for the sinners.
Who has that kind of love?
Indeed, Your love is divine.

Teach me that love again, my Lord, my Master, my God, my Love.
I throw my heart into the furnace of Your love.
Purify it, my Lord,
so that it loves the way You love.
Let me love until it hurts, and still love.
Revive my heart so that it beats again,
beats as it echoes the voice of Your tender love.

 

 

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三四月

又是三四月，周而复始

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deaf

those laughter

how i wish to be deaf

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鸟人鸟事

最近到处都是鸟人鸟事

踩尾巴事件超多的

没有一件事值得微笑

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Hate and curse

Papa,

It is so hard to do Your will.

I don’t know why must Your flower do all those nasty things to me.

The devil wants me to hate and curse.

But, Papa, I don’t want to hate and curse.

It is so hard to resist hatred.

Help me, so that i will always be obedient to Your will,

let me be a reflection of Your love,

haiz, Papa, help me!

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