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Archive for 2016年12月

家教

今天来了一个非常彬彬有礼的小男孩来参加我们的研究。一问之下发现居然是老校长的外孙!!!老校长是我最敬爱的校长,而我居然在异乡见到老校长的外孙,兴奋得久久无法自已!

话说从一开始,这小男孩就吸引到我的注意力了。他跟其他同龄孩子不同,异常客气且彬彬有礼。来参加研究的同龄小孩中,他是唯一一个那么客气又彬彬有礼的。

前阵子通电话时,我问了好几个问题,包括他所要的记不起腕带颜色大小和预约日期和时间。由于之前有些小孩都突然驾到,于是我开始定规矩。要来之前必须提前两个工作日预约。结果这个小弟弟呢,只跟我预约了时间,忘了告诉我他要什么颜色和大小的腕带。没想到的是,他居然非常客气的来向我道歉,说不好意思,自己太 blur,居然忘了告诉我。我看了那电邮然后笑了。从来没有一个小孩会连那么小的事都道歉。而且,在电邮中还很小心翼翼的说他不清楚这样子是不是算是有提前两个工作日。哈哈哈,第一次遇到那么认真对待我所定的规矩的小孩。

其实,我之所以定这个规矩,只是担心他们若不提前预约,我很可能不在,那么他们便会白跑一趟。因为硕士论文的关系,我常常会跑回主校区。用公共交通的话,两地距离45分钟,我是没有办法冲回来的。

后来跟他定了下午 5 点见面。4点50分左右接到他的电话,一开口又是道歉,说因为父亲的车子出了问题,他会迟到 10 分钟左右。哇,他还真的是第一个会提前通知我说他会迟到的小孩。大部分的时候,那些迟到的人根本不会打电话知会一声。

跟这个小孩接触的过程中,我的脑海里闪出两个字:家教。啊,家教真好啊。

虽然来参加研究的小孩大部分都蛮可爱,可是,那么彬彬有礼的,真的是第一个。结果,这一个居然是老校长的外孙!哇!

其实,因为我们会把他们编组,所以我通常都问他们从何得知此研究。若有朋友也在此研究中,那么我们会尽可能安排他们在不同的组里。我真没想到会问出我的校长来。哈哈哈~

我看我刚才真的是兴奋过度了,完全无法自已!

 

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my Lord and my God, my King, I gaze at Your portrait of Divine Mercy and wonder if You find it hard to love that flower too?

I know the answer and I know what You want of me. You want me to love without getting tired of loving.

It is in this intense pain that I feel so close to You, so close to Your heart, Your heart that loves without getting tired.

This cross burdens me and the thorns cut through my flesh. This pain is like a mirror that allows me to see my inadequacy, it shows me that i am far from Your likeness. Oh, how i wish to be like You!

St. Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle!

 

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what You ask is tough

what You ask is tough, Papa

Papa, are You speaking to me? Is that Your voice?

 

St. John of the Cross’ advice on conquering self-love

Mercy, remember, is loving and seeking the well-being of difficult, needy, irritating, unattractive, unpleasant, smelly, nasty, unworthy others unto discomfort and self-renunciation.

“It is enough to have referred to the many imperfections of those who live in this beginner’s state to see their need for God to put them into the state of proficients. He does this by introducing them into the dark night, of which we will now speak. There, through pure dryness and interior darkness, he weans them from the breasts of these gratifications and delights, takes away all these trivialities and childish ways, and makes them acquire the virtues by very different means. No matter how earnestly beginners in all their actions and passions practice the mortification of self, they will never be able to do so entirely — far from it — until God accomplishes it in them passively by means of the purgation of this night.”

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Papa,

I am exhausted.

Your flower, Your flower… that flower is covered by a thick layer of mud by the beast, very thick layer, so thick that i can’t even believe that there’s a flower beneath the mud… i wonder if it is truly a flower… It looks so ugly, i just want to throw it away! It is so hard to see its beauty, i can see no beauty at all! i see only mud, Papa…

Is it true that she is made in Your image and Your likeness? I can’t see You in her, Papa, I have failed to see Your image in her. Yes, Papa, I know, I know. I know you made her in Your image, I know You carved her name on Your palm, I know You love her as much as You love me. I know, I know, I know that she is Your child and so she is one of my own, I know that she has the same dignity that I have, the same dignity that we all have because we are all Your children.

Papa, this force behind her is so strong. I don’t know what to do. I am tired, i am exhausted, i am drained. Indeed, that force is a force that comes from the fallen one who was once the chief angel. That force is so strong. Papa, You know very well that I don’t want to surrender Your flower to that evil one. Whatever You give me, I will treasure it and protect it with all my strength…

But Papa, I don’t know how to continue fighting. Oh Papa, help me!

Let Your will be my will.
Let me love as You love.

Let me love as You love…
Let me love as You love…
Let me love as You love…
Let me love as You love…
Let me love as You love…
Let me love as You love…
Let me love as You love…

St. Maximilian Kolbe, pray for me!

to-love-means-loving-the-unlovable

divine_48_be-always-merciful-as-i-am-merciful

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장씨야,
너 왜 이래?

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